The Swing Scene Presents…A Beginner’s Guide to Swinging

We decided to take some of what, we at least, considered to be our best information and advice on getting started in the Lifestyle and put it in an easy to read e-book.  This is not intended to be a recruiting guide.  The first half talks about how to get involved.  The second half is designed to help the newbie sidestep some of the common landmines all couples must learn to recognize if they are going to be successful in Swinging.  Here are a few excerpts:

“Disclaimer:

Let me be clear about one thing. I am not an expert in relationships. I do not claim to have all the answers, or even the right ones. What I do have however, is experience in the Lifestyle and based on that experience I will tell you this….swinging can and will destroy your marriage if you go into it with false pretenses or unrealistic expectations. Swinging in real life does not look anything like late night cable. Swinging can open a Pandora’s Box of jealousy, insecurities, pettiness and selfishness that few couples can survive intact. The opposite is also true. When approached correctly, the Lifestyle can be one of the most exciting, titillating experiences a couple can share. Swingers that are successful in the Lifestyle are some of the best communicating, most honest, committed couples you will ever encounter. “

“Most vanilla people, (vanilla is a term people in the Lifestyle use to refer to people who are not swingers), probably believe that the primary attraction of swinging is having sex with people other than your partner or spouse. This is not necessarily the case. Swingers come in all flavors.  Some are “soft swap”, meaning they don’t have actual penetrative sex with anyone other than their own partner, while others consider themselves “full swap”, meaning that they will.  Some stipulate “same room” play only….others are okay with being separated from their partner during play time.  Some don’t allow open mouth kissing….some insist upon it.  There are “swingers” who don’t really swing at all, preferring a more voyeuristic / exhibitionist Lifestyle experience.  So what is it that ties all these disparate objectives together? ”

“Have no doubt about it. There is absolutely no other factor that will have more effect on the quantity, or the quality, of the people who contact you. Swingers are looking for people whom they find attractive. This may seem like a pretty obvious conclusion, but spend ten minutes browsing any swinger site and you will be amazed at the number of profiles that look like they were set up by someone’s mortal enemy. I’m sorry but if you can’t suck in your gut and take the time to get your dirty clothes and kids out of the picture, I really don’t care how funny and witty your profile reads.”

“Never mention your plans for the rest of the evening before you actually meet in person.  Rule number one when meeting people out for the first time…ALWAYS have an ‘Out’. A safety net, if you will as if you were going on a blind date. If you let it be known in advance that your kids are out of town and you just cleaned the hot tub and restocked your condom supply, you might find it difficult to ditch your date(s) if you decide they’re not really your type.”

“When you are imagining it, the third (or fourth) players in the scenario are just props….and imaginary props at that. Imaginary props who always act and say exactly what you want them to because hey…it’s your fantasy! In real life these props are actual people. They have their own agendas and likes and dislikes. They may say things that make you uncomfortable. They may look at your partner in a way you don’t particularly like. They may possibly be younger, skinnier, funnier, or better endowed than you. ”

“Every decent swinger site today has some validation system to help weed out the fakes.  Beware of anyone asking you to email pictures for any reason.  Some will claim they are scared to put their pictures on the site but will gladly email them to you if you will do the same.  Trust me; if they send you any pictures at all, they are of the last couple he tricked into sending him some.  You notice I said “him”.  It is always a guy.  Women don’t pull this kind of shit.  Get it together guys, this is the reason women will someday rule the world.”

It is our hope that some of the information in the guide might help a few people make semi-educated decisions when it comes to joining the Lifestyle and how to go about it with your eyes open.  You can find it by clicking the cover above (thanks to the beautiful Mrs. Toto for being my cover model) or clicking the link in the sidebar.  If you don’t use a Kindle, it is available in other formats through Smashwords.

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