Swinging Etiquette

Ummmm.... No...

Emily Post, an American author whose name is synonymous with manners defined etiquette as: a code of behaviour based on thoughtfulness. Etiquette is used in all things social from how to act at work, to acceptable behaviour in church and at weddings. What is proper and improper in swinging is no different. Swinging etiquette does not require the same manners as when meeting the Queen of England but there ARE a certain set of ‘should’ and ‘should nots’ that are good to follow to make your Lifestyle experience a smoother one. These are not unlike general rules of etiquette when one is in the dating scene.

  • As a starting point, describe yourself on your profile as you are. You are only fooling yourself if you think the people you are meeting won’t walk away when they see you are not physically as you represented. Swinging definitely contains plenty of vanity…so having a good personality might win them over, but your looks are what get you in the door to begin with.
  • It is best to maintain proper social boundaries until you the person/couple better. Don’t reach over and eat off their fork or drink out of their glass….simple things like that. Licking too, is best to put off until after you have had a conversation or two.
  • Don’t over-drink. This is a recurring warning on this website. You might be sloppy, obnoxious and make a poor impression on people you might like to see again. Hooking up with a drunk might be easy, but if they puke on you while things are getting hot, it ‘might’ be a buzz kill.
  • Don’t do drugs. That is a personal choice and not one to put in anyone else’s face. If you smoke weed for example, and the person/couple you are with break out a bowl or ask you, then fine. Do as the Romans do if that is your desire. Just don’t whip out a joint in the middle of a party when everyone else is just showing up. Use discretion is my point, in case you didn’t get there on your own.
  • Don’t ‘no-show’. Use courtesy and let whomever you’re meeting know you got delayed or can’t make it. It’s rude not to do so.
  • Shave. Since the late 1990’s body hair, specifically in and around the genital areas, has been out of style. Good hygiene is ALWAYS in style. If you need more guidelines on techniques and grooming landscape designs, take a look at the below website and related articles therein. Same rules apply to men and women here. http://www.askmen.com/fashion/keywords/manscaping.html
  • If you are a smoker, before you just light up to get your nicotine fix, excuse yourself to go smoke or ask your company if they mind. Follow up with GUM. It’s polite and appreciated to non-smokers especially.
  • Don’t text while interacting with live people. It is discourteous and gives the impression you are rude and disinterested. If you must do so, excuse yourself or explain the need to; like for an emergency with your kids. Then don’t continue afterward. Your live company will get irritated and lose patience.
  • Don’t tell horror stories or gossip about other people or couples. Swinging communities are not large. Be courteous and keep people’s names or online monikers out of if telling stories.
  • Don’t urinate in anyone’s hot tub or pool. Enough said.
  • Don’t alienate one spouse when trying to hook up with the other. This is rude and an easy way to cock-block yourself. (see cock-block in swinging dictionary)
  • Don’t be pushy. Aside from the general and blatant rule of ‘No means No’, being too aggressive turns some people off and scares others away completely. Conversely, if you are interested in hooking up, acting cool and aloof won’t send any signals for others to ‘make a move’. If you’re interested, make it known. If you are not, same rule applies.

As you can see from the above, most of these apply to general rules of proper etiquette in dealing with other human beings in everyday life. It’s not rocket science; just common courtesy.  Emily Post would be so proud….

Mrs. Toto

 

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