Swingers and DRAMA…

Not a good sign….

Drama is a term thrown around quite a lot in the Lifestyle. Simply put, drama happens when people bring either their personal, or their relationship, issues into Lifestyle situations. It is my opinion that everyone and every couple have drama at one time or another. How people handle that drama goes a long way in ultimately determining how successful they will be in the Lifestyle. That being said, what do you do when the people you are with suddenly erupt at each other or worse yet, at you? Don’t assume just because you and your partner are on the same page that others you may be with are equally in tune. We have had situations go from, “Wow…we scored tonight!” to “Shit…I hope they don’t have a gun!” in the blink of an eye! Trust me when I tell you, there is nothing you can do to salvage that kind of situation. Find a way out as quickly as possible. Call a cab, call a friend, start walking, just leave. You don’t want to be there. It is best to let people work out their own issues. Ignore the impulse to try and help them work it out. It is not your job to mediate and you very well might make the situation go from bad to divorce. Just because a couple has a disagreement doesn’t mean they are bad people, but it does mean they need to work it out together. Unless you strongly feel that you may have done or said something to instigate the problem, don’t feel obligated to send any “sorry if we did anything to cause your fight” emails. Don’t give them an opportunity to blame you for their issues. Chances are, they will talk it out and everything will be fine. Just remember, anyone can have a bad night but if it happens repeatedly, you probably need to find new friends.

Drama doesn’t usually just appear out of the blue.  There are usually a few signs that things may go sideways.  Don’t be so intent on closing the deal yourself that you ignore them!  One of the most obvious is intoxication.  If one member of the couple is wasted there is a good chance that they are not necessarily behaving in a way that their partner finds acceptable.  Best to just let them pass on by.  Another warning sign is when one person seems to be far more interested in playing than their spouse.  Sometimes one person is more enamored with the possibility of a hookup than their partner and that is okay, just make sure everyone is on the same page before moving into a more intimate situation.

One last note…If the couple you are talking with seems detached, not particularly close, or shows no affection for each other, RUN.  There are couples that get involved with the Lifestyle as some misguided, last ditch effort to save their marriage.  These are by far the worst potential playmates.  Swingers need to be great communicators.  They should be completely at ease and confident in their own relationship first before they even entertain the idea of inviting others into their bedroom.  If you notice they are anything but each others best friend, you should probably wish them well and stay away!

Drama doesn’t happen in the Lifestyle often.  It can, however, ruin an otherwise pleasant night out.  Bottom line…if you get the impression things are going bad, stop what you are doing and bow out gracefully.  It is easier to explain a sudden change of heart, than it is to watch people come unglued.

 

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