How Do I Get My Wife Into Swinging?

Maybe so....maybe no

This is a question that we get asked a lot, and it really doesn’t have an easy answer.  The first step is to take an honest look at your relationship and decide if this is something you really want to pursue.  Swinging often sounds better in theory than it is in practice.  Don’t get me wrong…we have had some great times and met some of the best people in the Lifestyle, but we’re not you.  The last thing you want to do is get her involved in swinging only to find out you can’t handle seeing her with other people.  It might be kind of hard to get that genie back into the bottle.  So take a deep breath and ask yourself if this is really something you think will enhance your relationship.  If the answer is yes then it all comes down to communication.   If you have talked about it and she wasn’t into the idea then the answer is simple… you don’t.  Getting someone to try the lifestyle who isn’t interested in it is a losing proposition.  She might be having sex with other people, but you won’t be enjoying it because she divorced you.  That might sound a little extreme, but it is certainly true.  We’ve seen it happen on more than one occasion.

But maybe you haven’t discussed it with her yet.  Perhaps you think she might be interested and you just don’t know how to bring up the subject.  It can be a difficult thing to work into a conversation.  “So honey, can you pass the mustard, and by the way… have you any desire to invite others to share in our all ready amazing sex life?”   Actually that might work.  Another approach would be to work it into your pillow talk.  Do you talk dirty while having sex?  Throw a few more people into the scenario and see how she reacts.  Tell her you had a dream where she was doing this and that and gauge her reaction.  Take her to a strip club and buy her a lap dance.  There are endless ways to break the ice and still leave room for a strategic retreat should she pick up a knife.

Words of caution here… do NOT let her find you have been checking out swinger sites without her.  Do NOT set up a profile without her input and whatever you do never, never post pictures or correspond with others about swinging without your spouse.  That will absolutely go bad for you.

When you do have the conversation and she is interested, what is the next step?  Check out our swinger resources page and start exploring!  Be open and honest in your communication.  It is easy to fall into the habit of saying what you think your partner wants to hear, instead of what you really feel.  You are not doing either of you a favor by doing that.  Remember the Lifestyle is not about drama and hurt feelings… It is about exploring your limits, inhibitions, and most of all..FUN!

 

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